Pairings
by Keep Calm and Stay Heroic
Summary: Japan is really scary sometimes...Ch 5: AusSwiss and Spamano (not as much as I would have hoped, but I will bring it back later maybe!)
1. Chapter 1

It all started with Japan talking to America about a manga.

"DUDE! You based it on us?"

"Hai," The island nation reached for his bag and drew out two books, "They are already very popular; the fangirls seem …scary sometimes."

America furrowed his brow. "Like, how?"

"Well…there is these two websites called 'DeviantART' and 'FanFiction' that people like to go on…they already have multiple clubs and groups about us."

"COOL! Can I see?"

Japan handed over his laptop, with both pages already opened to said websites (and with his personal accounts open). America grabbed it and automatically searched "Hetalia America".

"Hehehe…these pics are really sweet! They're hell-a funny too!" He said, laughing over one picture of him drawing on England's face. Then, he searched "Hetalia America and England". This brought up a question he found in one of the uploader's comments.

"Yo, Japan. What's USUK?"

The Asian blushed deeply and pretended he didn't hear. That just led to America searching "Hetalia USUK" on DeviantART.

"Wait…are all these of me an- OH, GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MADNESS?"

"AMERICA-SAN! DON'T LOOK AT THAT!"

This just made all the other nations in the room come over to see what the commotion was about. Sadly, England was the one who saw first.

"…" *THUD*

"Oh hon hon~ Why did Angleterre faint?" France stepped over the unconscious England, and over America, who had fallen to the ground in the fetal position, and to the computer. He smiled in that pervy way of his. "OHHOHO! Why did no one tell me of zis~? Angleterre fainted out of happiness! Eet iz true!"

Japan flushed even more and muttered "They haven't even found about RoChu, FrUK, and GerIta…"

This is why Japan is on the top ten feared nations list.

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><p><em>AN: Someone, kill me now. I am suffering from the worst disease ever to hit anywhere...WRITER'S BLOCK! I promise, once school starts, I will start posting actual stories up here. for now, please don't flame. Much. You can, and I will agree._


	2. FrUK

This fict is now a multichappie~

No one stopped following Japan after the little incident with America and England a few weeks ago. France to see more, America to ask "why the heck he would make something like that", and everyone else to find out more about what it was. They didn't even find out about FrUK, RoChu, and Spamano! It would be horrible if they found out about any of those.

This is why Japan was quickly closing down different search engines at the end of one meeting, after recording everything but actually looking at various things on DeviantArt. France, of all people, noticed this, and asked, rather loudly, "_Japón,_ why are you so slow today~?"

Japan stopped for a moment and looked up to him. "N-nothing!" he stuttered, making everyone stare at him.

Japan.

Does

Not.

Stutter.

...unless there is something hot. Like that USUK apparently was.

France was looking at the computer in a flash, and saw one of the more graphic pictures of him and...oh, dear, was that England?

"OH HON HON~ SEE? THERE IS ONE FOR US, ANGLETERRE~!" he cried passionately, throwing his hands up into the air.

England visibly paled and sprinted to the monitor. "Oh, bloody hell no..." he muttered, before looking at Japan with a venomous hate in his eyes.

Japan weakly raised his hand to clsoe the tab, but under that was just something worse. A fanfiction. Of FACE, Parental!England and Parental!France.

This pretty much just amused France more, and made sure England lost his appetite. The French man was laughing so hard, you could almost see the blood coming from his nose. He had a hand on England's shoulder, while the other man tried to push him off with every ounce of strength he had.

"GIT. OFF. MY. SHOULDER." he growled at the taller one.

France smiled at him and kissed his cheek. Everything stopped for a moment there, as the Englishman slapped the "frog" in the face. Hard.

"-" his rant was stopped by France, who had put a hand around his waist and smiled cheekily.

"But, you enjoyed it, _non_~?"

France was chased through the courtyard.

Japan was banned internet access for the next two weeks.

America left early and missed all the fun.

Hungary video tapped it all.

And Italy ate pasta from nowhere.

I seriously hopes this works...something's up with my profile, so it'll be hard to update and stuff...goddamned fan ... 


	3. Germancest

_A/N:_ **Alright, so I am posting another chapter (that I wrote in, like, ten minutes...heh...) of this...really. How you you like this? I, LIKE, TYPE ALL OF THESE IN UNDER AND HOUR. GO LOOK AT THE REST OF MY CRAP THAT I TOOK MY TIME ON.**

**Hetalia isn't mine, nor is the doujinshi I described (poorly); It's an actual doujinshi, but, yes, it's in Japanese.**

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><p>About a month after the "FrUK" incident, as Hungary was calling it, there was a period of somewhat calm. But, we all know that this was probably just the calm before the storm.<p>

The storm started again after a meeting in Berlin, when everyone had already left and Germany was alone in the meeting room. He was packing his own equipment (as the host nation was required to bring the projector, should anyone need it) when he noticed a colorful paper in the mess of black and white printers that scattered the table. He went over to grab it, and glimpsed at the title. He nearly threw it aside before noticing the cover.

It was Prussia's face, but it didn't really have his...well...feel, you know? How you always expect to see America smiling, England scowling, France groping... But, Prussia on this was blushing lightly and just staring up at the camera. There was a light blue background and some Japanese writing in big, bold letters. That must have been the title.

Germany shrugged and almost threw it away again before noticing the "R-18" note on the top of the page. He picked it up and felt that it was a book, maybe some sort of...magazine...?

No one noticed him slip it into his briefcase, as the room was empty.

**Trololololololololol**

The German screamed and threw the book down, backing away quickly as it it were on fire. The page was still open...THAT page was still open...MEIN GOTT, HE KNOW HOW AMERICA AND ENGLAND FELT LIKE!

"Hey, West, you alright? You gettin' on with Ita or something?" a holler came from downstairs and, the one person he didn't want to see, came pounding up the steps. "WEST? DIDJA DIE OR SOMETHING? DAMNIT, ANSWER ME!"

The door swung open and Prussia walked in, taking in the scene of Germnay huddled into the corner like a child and a book being open at his feet. "Scheiße, West, don't get all girly over a bo...welp..."

He twisted his head so he could see who was with who in the book. "Is that me...with YOU? WHAT THE FREAKING HELL? THAT'S SO NOT AWESOME, DUDE, DID JAPAN MAKE THIS? WHAT THE- MEIN GOTT, IST ENGLISCH NICHT ERKLÄREN, WIE DAS IST UNAWESOME!"

Then, the awesome nation of Prussia promptly collapsed on the floor. Nothing changed from that scene, until Italy came over, looked at the doujinshi, and fainted on top of Prussia.

Japan is now banned from reading during meetings, but he has gotten computer privileges back.

**With Japan, later...**

The disturbed nation closed the door and sprinted to his room with his beloved doujinshi. "I am so sorry I forgot you..." he muttered to it, "It will never happen again..."

Then he proceeded to look up some sexy GerIta with Hungary, because, dude, it was SEXY.

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><p><em><strong>AN: **_**Do you all like how I gave a hint as to which pairing I might do next?**

**Oh, BTW, the German stuff that Prussia is saying is "My God, the English language cannot explain how unawesome this is!" or, at least, that's what I typed into Google Translate...**


	4. GerIta

**A/N: This is now one of my favorite stories to type. I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I do! (BTW, I'm in Japan, and it's summer, so I'm gonna be busy and stuff...GOD DAMMNIT LIFE.)**

**I don't own anything.**

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><p>Poor, poor Italy. All he wanted was some pasta, but he couldn't find any in Hungary's house. He looked in the last cupboard and sighed.<p>

"Ve...I'm so hungry..." he whined, his growling stomach getting louder every waking minute.

The nation plopped down in one of the chairs around Hungary's kitchen table and grabbed the nearest magazine. It must have been a fashion magazine, because there was a picture of Germany in bunny ears on the cover. He opened it and realized it was all in Japanese. Italy kept on looked at the drawings, though, because Japan was a good artist.

After a few pages (he had entered the story of the magazine; how fun!) the door opened and Hungary walked in. "I'M BACK, ITA!" she yelled from the front.

"Ve~welcome back, Hungary! I'mma reading this magazine that you had on the table," he replied, turning a page. He immediately blushed when he saw the pictures.

"VE! AHHHHHH!" Italy screamed, jumping behind the counter, "WHAT-A IS-A THAT-A?"

The other nation ran into the room, armed with her frying pan (where the hell did that come from?) before realizing that it was only the "magazine". "Oh, Italy, that's just my doujinshi~" she sang, sitting down in Italy's old seat and picking up on reading where he had left off.

Slowly, the Italian came out from his hiding spot and sat down next to the Hungarian. "Ve~why do you have-a that?" he asked.

"I like reading them," she replied, "You and Germany should really go out. I bet he's a really good seme."

"What's a seme?" Italy asked innocently, and the girl just laughed.

This led to Italy being taught anime terminology. Then, Japan came over and Italy was converted to their side.

**YADAYADAYADA**

"I am here to pick up Italy..." Germany sighed, opening Hungary's unlocked door. He didn't expect to see what he did see.

Italy, Hungary, and Japan (where did he come from?) were huddled around a table, wearing cat ears, looking at an open "magazine" and muttering amongst themselves. "I'm telling you, Germany would top..." Hungary whispered to Italy.

"And-a I'mma telling you, I could whip his ass in bed..." the Italian countered. Japan was just smiling in between them.

Germany cleared his throat loudly, making the three nations look at him. He finally got a good look at what they were looking at and his face paled. "Mein gott, not again..."

Italy smiled seductively. "Ve~Hallo, Germany..." he said huskily as the trio moved in on the German man.

Germany just turned and bolted out of the door, leaving the three insane nations.

"Aww..." Hungary pouted.

"...By the way, Hungary..." Italy started, "Where do you keep your pasta?"

**YADAYADAYADA**

Japan turned to Hungary after Italy left later that day. "Hungary-san, I have the doujinshi you asked for."

She smiled. "Oh, thank you, Kiku!" She grabbed the Spamano doujinshi out of the nation's hands and disappeared into her cave. Japan just shook his head, chuckling, and went back to his own country.


	5. AusSwiss and Spamano

_A/N: _**Welp, this is my new top story...for some reason. And I joined a sport so there's practice every day. I just...I can't with this fandom anymore, nor with majority of my other stories. THIS ONE IS TOO FUN TO REREAD. I forgot that I wrote this and I found it again. :D**

**I wish I owned Hetalia, because then there would be a major cross over between Avengers and Hetalia, but I don't, so that isn't happening.**

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><p>It was during the annual meeting in Switzerland, the one place where the world would rather not blow sky high. Austria was about to give a presentation he had gotten from Hungary about the economy. Everyone was half asleep, except for Hungary, who was running the presentation as her partner did the talking, Japan, who was diligently taking notes, and Lichtenstein, who was acting very uncharacteristic.<p>

"Alright, your turn, Austria," Germany called across the table, as he had become the leader of every meeting ever since the end of World War 2.

"Thank you, Germany." The Austrian stood up and walked to the front of the room, "This is a presentation about a new solution to the economical problems that the world has been facing."

Hungary started the slide show, but the title slide read something that no one in the room expected except for her. "The reasons why AusSwiss and Spamano are both great ships that should happen."

Switzerland, who was sitting next to Lichtenstein, spit out his coffee. "WHAT?!" he screamed, eyes wide and trigger finger twitching and reaching for where he knew his pistol was.

"But, bruder, you two would be cute together!" The Swiss man turned to his little sister with a disgusted look, before snapping his head towards the Austrian. "YOU DID THIS, YOU CHEAP BASTARD, I KNOW YOU DID."

The other man, however, was too stunned to notice. He just stood behind the podium, his mouth hanging open. The other two nations who were mentioned were not present, because Romano was over at Spain's house harvesting tomatoes. But everyone knew that Spain was actually flirting with with the Italian without knowing and that the Italian was ignoring all of the Spanish man's accidental advances.

"I swear Austria I will shoot you!" Switzerland pointed his pistol at the Austrian's head, his hands shaking out of anger and repulsion.

The younger nation grabber her brother's arms and slowly dragged him out of the meting room, kicking and screaming for the other's blood. "Sorry! Meet you for the Germano meeting tomorrow, Hungary!" she cried as the doors closed behind them.

There was a moment of silence, and then Hungary pouted "But, they didn't see any of the reasons!"

The meeting ended when Austria and a few other nations ran out of the room to vomit after seeing so many lewd pictures of their four friends. Hungary didn't regret anything and Japan recorded the entire ordeal.

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><p><em>AN: _**I hope this was as good as the last chapters ^^**


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